Top 5 events that destroyed the pathway of modern music genres

5. N-DUBZ - So one of their members is called Dappy? right..... before giving yourselves 'nicknames' sort out your tunes, innit! (see what I did there?) Take your stupid hat off while you're at it! And what exactly are you saying?? I though the whole idea of 'rapping' was so you could still hear the lyrics? The few lyrics that can be heard are actually quite relevant sometimes though, especially "If you can hear me?" yeh I can now, thanks. Try listening to J.J. FAD, you might learn something.

4. LADY GAGA - For someone who's meant to be 'unique' and 'artistic', you're name isn't very individual. Ladytron, Ladyfuzz, Ladyhawk.....shall I continue? I'm pretty sure a baby could think up the name, considering their vocabulary only consists of 'goo goo gaa gaa'. It might also help if your lyrics actually have words in them: "Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah! Roma-Roma-ma-ah! Ga-ga-ooh-la-la!". Again, a toddler could think up better lyrics. So where's the talent and uniqueness? Oh I know, I'll stick a telephone on my head and wear a meat dress. I think it's already been done love, you heard of Bjork? But I'm sure, soon enough, The Gaga will be forgotten, along with the rest of this down-trodden music decade. 

Spot the difference. Bjork is actually talented.

3. COLDPLAY - Describe Coldplay in three words, bland, bland, and er... bland? I don't think there's any other way to describe them if I'm honest, other than a slow and painful death. Also, stop stealing music from Kraftwerk and Joe Satriani and write your own!, if you don't mind? Oooh and Chris Martin, I don't think drawing random squares on your hand will change the quality of your sounds. Sort out your music first... then your 'image'. Yeh?

2. SCOUTING FOR GIRLS - What can I possibly say about this joke of a band?? I actually thought i'd tuned into a satirical program when I first heard them. So they can't play their instruments live, they can't sing and they have the worst lyrics I have ever heard! "Elvis isn't dead, Elvis isn't dead, Elvis isn't dead, I heard him on the radio". Nice bit of repetition there, ended with a brilliantly 'deep', 'meaningful' lyric. I think the best place for you are karaoke nights at back street pubs in the middle of nowhere!. Thanks for single-handedly driving and leading the bulldozer through music guys!

1. THE X FACTOR - The ULTIMATE destruction of music. Steve Brookstein? Whatever happened to him? A show that survives purely on sensationalism, controversy and media coverage. Which is ALL the wrong reasons for a supposedly 'talent' show to succeed in making brand new, unique music. But instead, the winner's nearly always bring out a covers album! We'll listen to the original versions thanks. A HUGE money making scheme for Simon Cowell's bulging pockets for the race to Christmas number one, and that's all there is to it. To make sure that happens every year, we'll use the same formula of keeping a talentless singer/s in the show for as long as possible, so that everybody talks about it. The Sun, Live From Studio Five, This Morning, Daybreak, Loose Women...... You can't get away from it! So while the poor get poorer, Simon Cowell gets richer!